Serve To Lead

My wife loves singing karaoke. No I mean…LOVES to go sing karaoke. It’s her happy place. Happy Anniversary Love.

And if you’ve never done this or it’s been a while, I highly encourage you to find a hole in the wall karaoke bar, go in the middle of the work week, pick out your favorite song, and let ‘er rip.

The events of the week that were so serious, so profound, so life changing for me and others I observed kept pointing to the need for us, as leaders, to be our authentic selves in our leadership. Regardless of the turmoil or triumph we face day to day we must remain true to who we are and what values shape us. Many colleagues and friends with other organizations left their places of employment this week to seek places that align with their values. That’s so brave and such a great example of self care. And, if I’m being transparent, something I’ve been working tirelessly for didn’t happen for me. It’s a hard pill to swallow. And what’s more apparent is that it likely won’t ever happen for me. Even harder to accept. But what I can control is how I respond according to who I truly am.

So how did karaoke inspire me? While I watched my beautiful bride of thirteen years belt out What’s Up by the 4 Non Blondes while EVERY woman in the establishment sang along at the top of their voices, the three bits of advice I have for you this week popped into my head. There is no better analogy that I can give for these lessons than karaoke. You’re on the stage, everyone is watching and listening. You control the vibe of the place for now. Your energy is contagious. And the patrons will either sing along with you, OR THEY WON’T. I took all of this in and realized, wow that’s leadership in a nutshell. And then I sang Margaritaville because I’m a parrot head at heart.

Leadership is hard. Almost as hard as hitting a high note in front of fifty strangers while singing a duet with my incredibly talented spouse. And to be impactful, truly influential, you must remain anchored to what makes you the authentic leader and person you are. You’ve got to “Keep It Real!” That’s how you get people to buy in to your vision and leadership. They first buy in to YOU! When trust is earned then impact is immeasurable.

But, how do you create this buy in? How do you get people to take a chance on you? It requires honesty, vulnerability, and transparency. People must also buy in to what you’re “About” in order for them to follow your vision for where you’re taking them.

So, other than implementing a karaoke day in your office, which sounds really amazing actually, here are three tips for “Keeping It Real.”

1) Know Your Why: You have to know what drives you. As a leader it’s likely serving others in some capacity. As a teacher and coach, it’s kids. It’s honestly the feeling that I’m literally on a mission to help kids become great people as adults. Your why is unique to you and it’s roots are the values that you hold dear as a person living in the purpose you have for your life and profession. If you’re unsure of exactly how to express this purpose, your values, and your why, sit down and write it out. Put it somewhere that you’ll pass by and see every single day. Your why can’t be something you need to revisit once a year. It’s everyday, and in every interaction, and every decision you make. It’s your go to song when the vibe is dying and you got to sing a banger! Put your heart into it and the “crowd” will sing along.

2) Be Authentic: Don’t copy the words, behaviors, and actions of others if that’s not truly you. People can see straight through the “masks” we put on. Lead, speak, behave, question, and interact in the manner that matches your character and personality. Spoiler, we’re ALL weird. The next time a co-worker or supervisor asks how you’re doing, be honest! “Not great, but I’m going to push through.” Say it out loud, but also let yourself and them know that it’s in you to persevere. Need to have a hard conversation with someone? Do it, and say what needs to be said, what they need to hear. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t want to speak to that person. So show them you care enough to confront them. Did you make a mistake? Own it! Be honest, take the blame, let your people know you’re human and that you’ll be better. Don’t copy a song someone already sang to try and do it different or better. Sing your song and SING. IT. LOUD!

3) Exercise Your Values: Whether you’re going into a tough meeting, giving a big presentation, trying to meet a deadline, or maybe even interviewing for a new position, let your actions and words exude your values. People can see these in your tone, body language, and mannerisms as well. So, regardless of whether it’s a Monday and you’re on fire to lead, or if it’s been a hard week and you’re Friday tired on Wednesday, let your values drive you. Allow your values to be heard out loud. Even louder than the whoops and whistles when my wife got on stage to sing “Shania” and said, “Let’s go girls!”

Get on that stage and PERFORM don’t just sing the lyrics.

And if you need some musical inspiration, take it from Chris Cornell and Audioslave

Don't lose any sleep tonight
I'm sure everything will end up alright
You may win or lose

But to be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do

Keep it real this week. Live out your authentic leadership and serve others from YOUR HEART. And if you end up at a karaoke joint on a Thursday night and have the time of your life, you’re welcome. Have a blessed week leaders.