The Tribe Gathering - Sunday Mindset For The Week Ahead

“Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand.”

— John C. Maxwell

The sound of an old attic fan, cows lowing in a nearby pasture, the roosters crowing, and the unmistakable smell of eggs, bacon, and sausage cooking in unison creating a bouquet of smells that the thought of can still to this day make my mouth water. The masterpiece that my grandmother could weave in the kitchen with Crisco, chicken, and homemade yeast rolls could fill souls and bellies. And, though those memories are solidified in my mind, so are the images of my grandfather counseling his sons and daughters, my uncles and aunts, from their front porch swing. A humble little home that sat in the middle of two pastures that my grandfather had been a sharecropper on, but now owned and passed along to his oldest son.

He didn’t need a lot of words, none of them did, and when someone spoke, everyone else listened. The advice and leadership that happened there was forged on connection. No titles were needed, no special committees, or power struggles formed. When someone had trouble they asked for advice, and when instructions on next steps to ensure a successful harvest were needed, they were delivered and carried out. The ability to lead was built by their connection. Cousins, grandkids, nieces, and nephews would also gather around to hear them converse, chase fireflies, and eat chocolate pie that my grandmother heaped on plates for us. The foundation of leadership was being exemplified for us, barefoot and in overalls.

The saying, “no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care,” has always and will always hold true in leadership. Sadly, in 2023 there is a definite lack of deep connectedness between people in general. Sure we have connections with people via the internet. “We are more “connected” than ever (social media, WhatsApp, Zoom), but we lack connectedness or a sense of belonging to a group or community.” (Sergeeva 2021). This lack of connectedness can lead to increased stress, anxiety, high blood pressure, and mental health disorders. It can also lead to fractures in relationships and a lack of servant leadership.

Thousands of miles away in the poverty stricken African country of Mali, global efforts are being made to develop their infrastructure by building schools, providing health care, methods of sustainable energy, and agricultural methods to ensure food security. In the midst of this much needed development and technological advancement is a tradition that still carries on. The daily meeting of the village elders on communal benches built especially for them by the young men of the village. Younger members of the village will often gather to hear their conversations and sage advice. Want advice on financial issues? Ask the elders. Want marriage advice? Ask the elders. Important decisions for the village to be made? The elders decide. They share leadership and make connections with one another and the people of the village. Trust in their opinions and advice is built through daily conversations, through connection.

So what can we learn about leadership from such simplicity? We can form all of the committees, sub-committees, research teams, and chains of command that we want in an effort to mimic modern models of leadership hierarchy. But, if we don’t get out from behind our desks that adorn our name plate and sow the seeds of connection with the people we lead, then our efforts to grow leadership and teamwork can come up barren when we need to harvest. And I mean all of them. From your executive suite administrators to the crew that cleans at night, connection within your organization is crucial and its efforts must be sincere.

This need for connectedness is also evident in our own homes. According to studies conducted by the Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study (FFCWS) of Princeton University, teens with stronger parental connections reported lower levels of anxiety and symptoms of depression. Although this result is obvious and no amount of data is necessary to prove this correlation, the reminder is very much required because the actions that create connection are going undone.

So, this week go for a walk with your spouse, children, or friends. Take a coworker to coffee and do more listening than talking. Invite a player to have lunch with your coaching staff and listen to them talk about their day and life. Take your administrative staff to lunch (have the chicken and sweet tea too btw). Sincerely care for those you lead and do life with. What you’ll find is, that when you need a helping hand, there will be one already outstretched or already at work. Accountability will happen without you having to say a word. Pride will be taken in the way the daily minutiae are carried out. And all because people know you care and have their best interests at heart rather than the company bottom line. Because you prioritized connectedness.

So, swap the professional footwear for your tennis shoes this week. And, while out on your walk, if you come across a group of people on a bench or porch swing dealing out advice, stop and take notes.

Have a blessed week.

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