The Tribe Gathering- Sunday Mindset For The Week Ahead

“I have never been one to flinch or crawfish when faced with an unpleasant task.”

The quote above is taken from the book True Grit and is attributed to the main character, Mattie Ross. Mattie’s father is murdered and she sets out to avenge him with the help of some hired vigilantes. The adversities Mattie has to overcome are numerous and continuous. Therein lies the reason for the book title.

But what exactly is GRIT and can you develop yours? Who better to point to for that definition and answer than the author of a book by the same title. Angela Duckworth provides research based evidence for the importance of grit as a determining factor for success. Simply put, grit is extraordinary effort over a long period of time, without fail.

(Ambition+Passion+Purpose = Hard Work) x Time = Success

Grit is fulfilling your purpose through hard work over not just days and weeks, but perhaps months and years if necessary. Now, how does this apply to INTEGRITY?

For the coaches at The Tribe, GRIT is not just the root word of inteGRITy, but also a necessity for true integrity to be sustained over the courses of our careers and lifetimes. Earlier in the week we discussed the distance between our Say and Do. An image shared to provide juxtaposition was that of a small ditch vs the Grand Canyon. The variable being added today is time. What happened to the small ditch over time that caused the Grand Canyon to form? Erosion. And just like water eroding away soil and rock persistently over time, our character and integrity can be eroded by choosing to take the easy way out and lacking grit in our integrity.

Regardless of your profession or title, if you’re a leader, you will most certainly be faced with adversity, hard times, failure, mistakes, naysayers, and perhaps even termination in your career as well as in your personal life. But, what I’d like to address and focus on is actually none of those things listed.

What’s more important is the component that determines our character within these times, as well as in their aftermath. Which is our decision to always do what is right, time after time, regardless of how difficult it is. What’s even more critical to pinpoint and focus on is WHY. Why must we have grit in our integrity?

Grit is vital to your integrity and most tested when you are tempted to take short cuts and opt for the easiest, most convenient, and perhaps dishonest solutions.

Here’s the paradox that leaders are often faced with. “I can do this to help myself find a win, but if I do so I am robbing myself and others of true success.”

In theory what this looks like is: Have you been faced with the choice to take an easy but knowingly dishonest way out of a situation rather than choosing to cling to your integrity and staring down what you know will be a very difficult path? Are you breaking rules in order to be successful right now? Are you avoiding difficult conversations in hopes that the situation just disappears? Do you avoid the hard work and just accept what will be?

Practically this looks like being too tired to parent when you get home from work at 9pm and the day has absolutely kicked you in the gut, not holding your employees or players accountable when expectations and values are not upheld while in the middle of a slump and morale is in the dumpster, not having the tough conversation with someone that is destroying your organization’s culture and they simply must be dismissed even when you’re so emotionally drained you just want to go home and cry yourself to sleep for the weekend, or making excuses for failing rather than admitting you were wrong then setting out to learn how you can be better. If you’re a leader you’ve found yourself in one of these or a similar scenario.

And here’s why having grit in our integrity is so important. Our purpose as leaders is not to “pad our stats,” or inflate our “win column.” Our purpose is to teach those that we lead how to live a life of integrity, help them develop their grit, and walk beside them through their adversities until they reach a point in which they can stand on their own. If we choose the easy way, then what we’ve taught them is nothing at all. If we don’t model the willingness and conscious choice to do the hard thing because it’s what is the right and moral thing, then we are sabotaging ourselves and our purpose, which is growing the leader within each person we lead. This must be done everyday, every week, month, and year. The success that awaits at the end of that journey is not just ours but theirs.

What we must accept and grasp hold of firmly is the realization that if we fail to have grit in our integrity we don’t just fail the people we lead now. We fail the person they are meant to become, as well as those they will lead. And if we choose over and over, the easy, dishonest, cheating, lying, and comfortable path, we create a reflection that no pride or integrity can be found in, because the only person we served was ourselves.

This week, choose to have the difficult discussion. Have the courage to be honest and transparent while holding yourself accountable in the after action review meeting when you’ve failed. Uphold your values and standards by holding those you lead accountable regardless of their negative response. Choose to do the hard tasks everyday. Your integrity and the people that you lead are relying on you to exercise your grit and to expect them to do the same.

The “success” may not be found now and that’s ok. One day you’ll see or hear of their success. Or if you’re really blessed, experience someone you led sitting at your dining room table. A kid you once knew that stayed in trouble, seemed to always make the wrong decisions, and fought you kicking and screaming everyday. Now telling you that they are a successful business owner and help counsel abused women. The person sitting in front of you is a result of years of choosing to have grit day after day in searching for what is right. And you leader, are the one charged with showing them how. Don’t fail them.

Do the hard work. Do what is right. Everyday. That is why grit is the root of inteGRITy.

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